The Blog of BOGOF
by Geirdriful and Whitlinger
Summary: Well... it is nice to see you on my blog. Liechtenstein told me I should create one to improve my socializing skills. Which is nonsense, because I don't have any enemies. I'm neutral. I suppose I should tell you a little about myself...
1. Chapter 1

**THE BLOG OF BUY ONE GET ONE FREE**

* * *

**Date: November 15th, 2012**  
**Time: 9:34 AM**  
**Mood: EVERYONE ELSE IS AN ALIEN**

Well... it is nice to see you on my blog. Liechtenstein told me I should create one to improve my socializing skills. Which is nonsense, because I don't have any enemies. I'm neutral.

I suppose I should tell you a little about myself.

**Name:** Vash (Basch) Zwingli (a.k.a. Switzerland)  
**Human age:** 18  
**Actual age:** Approximately 712 years.  
**Height:** Why do you need to know?  
**Interests:** Shooting random Italians out of the sky, collecting coupons, mass-producing weapons (for shooting random Italians out of the sky), saving money, saving resources, saving energy, saving food, saving water, saving, and saving.  
**Eye color:** Green  
**Hair color: **Blond  
**Relationship status: **This is none of your business.  
**Bad habits: **I have quite a temper, but that's a given considering so many countries tread into my property without permission. And I am _not _a cheapskate! I simply like some products better than others, and it's _not_ because of their price!  
**Good habits:** Saving is good  
**Favorite food:** Cheese fondue on sale  
**Least favorite food: **Expensive cheese fondue

* * *

That's all you need to know about me. Let's see, I guess blogs are usually somewhat similar to diaries. So, today Austria sent me an email. I do not really understand the purpose of it, but here it is:

[To: Vash Zwingli  
From: Roderich Edelstein]

_**miser **__(plural __**miser**__)_

_(pejorative) A person who hoards money rather than spending it; one who is cheap or extremely parsimonious._

_**Synonyms:**_

_cheapskate_

_scrooge_

_skinflint_

_Signed,_  
_Roderich Edelstein_

That was a really stupid e-mail to send. I already know what a miser is.

I will accept comments, as long as you don't spam me. Allow France into my property and you will die painfully. Flirt with Liechtenstein and you will die painfully. Steal my coupons for cheese 50% off, and you will die painfully.

This is all I have for now. Now bog off, or buy one get one free, whichever you choose.

...

... go away before I shoot you.

* * *

**Whitlinger: Yes, Switzerland because he's awesome.**  
**Geirdriful: Haha, favorite character ( - is a miser).**  
**Whitlinger: ... yes, that's very true (meaning the miser thing).**  
**Geirdriful: Ehehe. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Date: November 29th, 2012  
Time: 10:24 AM  
Mood: I do believe this is none of your business, regardless of your rank or financial situation.**

Well, it appears that I have received some comments or replies.

**In reply to Saubure: **Oh, okay. Hello. I'm fine. Just shoot her or something. How are you?

**In reply to Washington: **Er, due to the fact that you're not actually a country, I don't think a marital union is possible. However, um, thanks for the … love.

**In reply to Arthur Kirkland/England: **Thank you for the warning. But I must protest, I am not a miser! I just prefer some products over others! It just happens that those ones that I prefer tend to be those with lower prices. It's purely coincidental!

**In reply to Lupi, Al, Sai and Misa:** I quite agree with you Misa... Even if I have no idea of who you all are.

* * *

Oh and, by the way, an addendum to last time's post:

Steal my money and you had better kill yourself before I get ahold of you and force you to endure extreme pain before killing you with a common household item.

By the way, Thanksgiving just passed, correct? I have just one thing to say:  
Just because it's a holiday doesn't mean that you people can just prance into my land whenever you want!

Stupid American learned it the hard way.

Auf Wiedersehen, au revoir, arrivederci, a revair.

* * *

**Geirdriful: Directly above: "goodbye" in German, French, Italian and Romansh, respectively, the four official languages of Switzerland. Note because you can't find Romansh on Google Translate (even if it's pretty obvious what it means). **

**By the way, Anna Whitlinger tells me to tell you that:**

**"**I have somehow managed to combine two of my favorite fandoms: Hetalia and GoT.

OMG GO STARK-RUSSIA.**" **

**Yeah. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Date: February 13 2012**  
**Time: 11:03 AM**  
**Mood: Bog off.**

I apologise for my long absence. There was a situation with America spreading the idea that I was offering free tours of my country. As you can expect, there were a great many replies. Because of this, I was forced to spend a sickening amount of perfectly useful money on bullets.

Also, China went and planted Chinatowns all over my country without my permission. It's unforgivable! They attracted a terrifying amount of Chinese tourists. All my watch stores sold out in a single day. These people raid my stores like they would supermarkets and literally grab €30,000 watches off the shelves. Why are they all so damn rich?

Then again...I did earn quite a lot of money from them. Which means I can buy better cheese this week. Of course they all taste the same! It's just nice to have a change once in awhile.

I suppose I am obliged to answer the comments/messages/threats I received.

* * *

**2p Saubure:** Referencing what I've heard of 2p... people, are you sure you're not describing yourself?

**Sai, Lupi, Al, Misa:** Sai, it appears that you are the one who set off my land mines earlier. Which means you exploded all the money I spent to buy those traps.

**Sai Blackriver:** YOU WILL DIE.

**Captain Awesomesauce:** How exactly is my blog entertaining, may I ask? The first entry consists of an introduction of myself, that preposterous email from the pansy and a couple of thr-er, last thoughts. The second consists of my replies to the comments and some...last thoughts. I see nothing that can described as "entertaining." I should work on improving my, um, last thoughts. Perhaps they aren't intimidating enough...

However, thank you for the...compliment.

* * *

Yesterday Liechtenstein asked me how my blog was going. I told her it was practically useless because so far I hadn't gotten any good tips on saving money. But then she said a blog was only for socializing. So I said to her, if this "socialization" had worked, I would have received a lot of tips. Liechtenstein just sighed and shook her head.

Little sisters have strange logic.

Argh. My land mines just set off again. I think I can hear Italy screaming.

BOGOF for now.

* * *

**Whitlinger: Because I didn't write anything for the previous post, I had to work on most of this by myself. Serves me right, I guess?**


End file.
